Courage Through the Covid-19 Storm: Interruption for Grieving

I interrupt "Courage Through the Covid-19 Storm" for grieving. 

Listen to this blogpost on Anchor https://anchor.fm/karen-sue-murdy/episodes/Courage-Through-the-Covid-19-Storm-Interruption-for-Grieving-edvptv
and Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/7hKa1KySNQKqVALAUWUiGp

All of a sudden I realized that it is not about the graduation ceremonies and celebrations, or lack there of, but it is the pure raw emotion and realization that my son is two weeks away from graduating from high school. My youngest son. My fourth of four boys. An era of my life is about to end! One that has been so long and so short. One that has been so sad and so happy. One that has been so tiring and so exhilarating. 

As the waves of grief wash over me I know that I have to stop and just embrace and experience this sadness.  Life's journey has taught me that I cannot avoid the grief. Sooner or later you have to walk through the pain of grief. So now is a moment when I am pausing to grieve, to remember, to celebrate, to release the past. Before I step into a new stage of life. 

Birth and graduation has had interesting bookends for the 2020 high school graduates. Birth was the time of 9/11. And now graduation is the time of crazy Covid-19. 

From the time my son was six weeks old until he was 16 weeks old, we lived at my mom's home as she died from cancer. My son was held, rocked, smiled at, and played with by extended family and friends, from sunrise to sunset every day for 10 weeks. He was nurtured and loved by a house full of people. And he smiled back and comforted everyone with his presence of new life, even as my beloved momma headed to her death. As we headed back to our home in WI, friends gathered around to continue to support and uphold us. And my son's three big brothers continued to delight in rocking, smiling at, and playing with their young brother. 

Yesterday as we took a beautiful May walk, we talked through memory lane. From the teachers and friends at St. Paul's Lutheran Church and School, and then Classical Conversations and our homeschooling friends and adventures, on to Parker High School as he followed in his brothers' footsteps briefly, and finally culminating with our move to Texas and our incredible experiences at Concordia High School. So many special people along the path to support and cheer us, to laugh and to cry with us.

Prayers galore. If you are raising kids, prayer=survival. Along the way, I have been blessed with prayer warriors-friends and family members- who lifted my children in prayer. For many years I was part of Moms in Prayer, a group that met regularly to pray. When my boys were in middle and high school, multiple times I would literally lay face down on my bedroom floor, crying and pouring out my prayers to God for guidance and intercession on behalf of my boys. Throughout the years St. Paul's words have been in the forefront of my mind. "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Some things will definitely change...The presence of school boys working on home work, the drop off to practices, the day to day meal planning for boy-sized appetites, etc are ending. But some things will never change...my joy, my love, my prayers for my boys.

This picture hung in my house for many years:

The time has come. Graduation from high school for my youngest. 

For babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow. So quiet down Covid-19...my baby is graduating and babies don't keep. 

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UP NEXT TIME: Apologizing
   



  

COURAGE Through the Covid-19 Storm:Thankfulness

Tips for THRIVING

Listen to this blog post at https://anchor.fm/karen-sue-murdy/episodes/Courage-Though-the-Covid-19-StormThankfulness-ecgl0o

As I have talked with people in this time of social distancing, I have been encouraged to write down some of the tips for thriving that I have learned through my professional career, my ongoing research, and my personal experiences.

Tip #1: Be THANKFUL

My Mom always declared, "Count your blessings!" Even when she was on her death bed, she looked at the Kleenex box noting, "Isn't that bear on the box so cute? I'm so thankful for that funny bear that  makes me smile."

On March 17th, my sister texted me, "Find 3 things to be thankful for today (mine are: sunshine, slower time with my family, a beautiful house to be "stuck" in)." 

A few days later my sister texted, "It's Jared's (son) birthday-1 month ago, I never would have thought he would be home for his birthday. A week and a 1/2 ago we had his birthday dinner (he was on spring break) because we were sure he would be back to college by now. Yesterday morning I thought it would be fun to spend the evening with him after I get home from work and today (unfortunately she got laid off from work because of stay in place orders) I get to spend the whole day with him-trying to keep it positive!" Wow- I was so impressed by my sister's thankfulness in spite of difficult circumstances.

I have been keeping a thankfulness/ "Happy Dance Journal" for a while. You can read about it here:http://karensuemurdy.blogspot.com/2018/10/strikes-curve-balls-and-happy-dancing.html

Each day I write my thankfulness/happy dance moment in my lovely soft leather journal made by https://www.murdycreative.co/!!!

Now each day, my sister and I have texted 3 things which we have been thankful for that day. Especially by evening, I can start to go down some negative bunny trails, but because I text 3 things I'm thankful for to my sister, I start to spend my day looking for the things for which I am thankful. 

When my neighbor and I were chatting (via text-social distancing-not sharing germs 😁), I was telling her how texting my 3 thankful things each day was helping me keep a better attitude, she also wanted to text our daily thankfulness. Now, besides my own thankfulness, I really look forward to the thankful texts from my sister and my neighbor.  

The apostle Paul encouraged the Thessalonians "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

And now I encourage you also, give thanks in all circumstances! For what are you thankful today? Share with your family, friends and neighbors. I would love to hear, too. 

Right now I'm thankful that my doctor husband with asthma is working from home caring for his patients by telemedicine, my Senior at Concordia High School loves "seeing' his friends and teachers during online Zoom classes, the bluebonnets and wildflowers have burst forth in colorful bloom and the sky has been so brilliant cerulean blue, the temperatures are perfect for open windows with fresh spring breezes blowing into my home, and God promises "never to leave me nor forsake me" not even in Covid-19 craziness!

Covid-19 Challenge: Set a timer for 60 minutes and when it rings, gather everyone in your household to take a one minute walk outside and around a tree, each person sharing something for which they are thankful now. 

REPEAT. 

(If you are alone, do the same, but text someone what you are thankful for when you come back inside.)

PLEASE social distance for now 

  to protect the lives of first responders, health care workers, and the physically vulnerable among us.

 UP NEXT TIME: Tip #2 "Nix Nature Deficit Disorder"

From February 18, 2018 to February 18, 2020

About two years ago, life felt tumultuous! The future was unknown. (Let's be real, even if we think we know the future, the future IS unknown... Ugly cancer diagnosis. Death by motorcycle crash. Unfortunate estranged relationships.) What was known is that God kept declaring- through friends, Bible readings, devotions- "Do not be afraid. I will never leave you or forsake you!"
On February 18, 2018, we worshipped at the church of my nephew, Pastor Tim Fraker, at Trinity Lutheran Church in Weatherford, TX.
The sermon text was from Matthew 6:10. "Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven."
Pastor Tim asked three questions:
1. What is your present need?
2. What is your past thanksgiving?
3. What is your future hope?
At the time, I had no idea that my "present need" would ultimately lead to a "past thanksgiving" because in that need came the change that brought us so many blessings in our move to Texas. Nearby family. Warmer weather. Brighter sunshine. Wildflowers galore. Fulfilling jobs. And Concordia High School, Austin, TX- a perfect fit for our youngest son- with rigorous academics, leadership development, and personal relationships with Godly mentors.
Now two years later that same verse from Matthew 6:10 "Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven" is the focus of a prayer movement for Concordia High School.  Will you pray? Please click on this link to watch the video:  https://chsaustin.org/iwillpray I will pray! Text PRAYCHS to 844-901-1659. #iwillprayforCHS

Will YOU Pray?

In October 2017 as I drove to Saginaw, MI to lead a women’s retreat and to speak at my alma mater, Valley Lutheran High School, for homecoming week, God really put on my heart that Concordia High School in Austin, TX needed a permanent place to call home! Sam & I had visited CHS the month before on our way to Hurricane Harvey clean-up. I phoned David and announced we needed to get CHS built!  My husband, who is always so supportive of me responded, "How much money do you think we should send?"

I attended Valley Lutheran High School in the very first class, many years ago, and the following year we were able to move into our new campus on McCarty Road.  That permanent building provided stability and growth for VLHS, where it continues to thrive today.

At the time I had NO idea that we would actually live in Texas just a few miles from Concordia High School.  Concordia High School is in the process of building its first permanent home.  My youngest son, Sam, loves attending Concordia High School. 

Two years ago, I thought God just wanted my money for CHS, but now I know He wanted my money and my time!!🤣

This year I have been very involved with a variety of initiatives at the school. 

Below is one  I have been involved in setting up. I'm very excited about this and hope you will join in signing up and praying with us.

VIDEO LINK  Please watch this video about the prayer movement.

I will pray! Will you pray? Please join the concert of prayer (1,000 people praying) for Concordia High School during this pivotal time...for contractors, city permits, donors, staff, students, wisdom, discernment. 

Text PRAYCHS (all capital letters, no spaces) to 844-901-1659. After you sign up, expect a daily prayer text Monday through Saturday for the 40 days of Lent from Ash Wednesday until Easter. Your number will only be used for this prayer movement. 1K! Pray!

The CHS family is committed to life-long learning, leading and living out God’s plan. For more information contact 512-248-2547 or https://chsaustin.org/

Lake Powell to WI to TX....Over 3000 Miles All in ONE Wild Week

One year ago this week, it was crunch time. Not as in “I have to study for a test”, “school starts tomorrow”, or “quick get the trash out as the trash man is driving up the street", but as in “we are moving to TX and we leave in a few days”. If you have ever moved, you probably understand the myriad of feelings and activities that engulf you. My last relocation had been to Jaesville, WI from Alabama in February of 1988 and my most recent move had been from the farm house in Janesville to Linden Ave in Janesville in December of 1996. Leaving WI after thirty years in the same town and 22 years in the same home resulted in a lot of root pulling, both physically and emotionally.

“I remember You upon my bed, and meditate on You in the watches of the night; for You have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.” Psalm 63:6-8

Last night as I lay in bed, I realized last year at this time was the week of leaving. My mind replayed the week and I meditated on how God has continually been our help!

Organizing and planning the 1st week of August 2018 was brain maximizing. Starting in Lake Powell, Utah on Saturday, we went to NE on to WI back to NE and finally to TX arriving the following Saturday. Good thing I like to travel. But I must admit after that trip, even I was tired of traveling. And so thankful that God’s right hand upholds me. 

On August 3, 2018, we returned from our annual family vacation at Lake Powell in Utah. (Our Lake Powell vacation included all 4 of our sons & their 2 girls- we were singing for joy that we were all able to gather together before the BIG MOVE for an incredibly special vacation.) We traveled across UT and CO to NE and on Sunday morning, we worshipped with our dear friends, the Burmas. After unhooking our red boat, which we had taken to Lake Powell, and leaving it with the Burmas to “boat sit”, we headed to University of NE in Lincoln to drop #3 son off for RA training. On Monday we completed our trip back to Janesville, after stopping in Rock Island, IL to visit the cemetery where David’s parents and sister are buried and going to Whiteys, a delicious local ice cream store. (Chocolate chip cookie dough is my favorite -lots of extra chocolate chips in addition to the chocolate chip cookie dough.) https://www.whiteysicecream.com/menu/

Monday evening, Tuesday, and Wednesday were supposed to be more packing time. However as often happens in life, the days were filled with a multitude of interruptions. Wonderful interruptions of friends and patients stopping by our home to say good-bye, of bon-fires encircled with friends as we shared memories and prayers, and of many tears and lots of laughter. Particularly I remember one of my son’s friends praying that our home in Texas would be filled with friends and laughter, just as it was in Wisconsin. Every time our Texas home is filled with laughter and friends, I remember God’s yes answer of that prayer and I sing for joy.

We needed to leave Thursday morning. Wednesday night about 10 pm the doorbell rang. I emphatically pronounced to my husband, “We have to be packed! Whoever it is at the door will just have to come to our bedroom so we can finish getting our clothes packed for Texas! (Once we got to Texas, we were planning to stay at my brother’s home until we bought our home, so by this point we had given up on trying to get everything in the house packed and were frantically just trying to get packed what we would need for a few months, knowing I was going to have to come back to finish packing up the rest before the movers arrived.) At the door stood one of our best friends, who came for one last goodbye, and thankfully didn’t mind finding a place to sit in our bedroom amidst all the stuff while we finished loading our suitcases. 

Thursday morning, we left on our big adventure. Excited. Tired. Scared. God's right hand upholds us. God had guided us to this point and we all were blessed with peace knowing that He was leading the way! Our little expedition included my husband and #4 son in our very full suburban pulling a

U-Haul car trailer loaded up with Grandpa’s pick-up truck (David’s dad’s old 1979 Dodge pick-up) which was loaded up with Grandma’s furniture. I followed in my little filled to the brim red car. We arrived in Perry, IA, to drop the pick-up truck with dear friends, the Bice family, who were storing our pick-up in their barn. Grandma’s furniture was wrangled, tied and duct taped to the car trailer. (We prayed for no rain, until we could get the furniture safely delivered to #3 son at UNL that evening.) After dinner at Lucky Pig with our friends, we continued safely on to Lincoln, NE. No rain!

Friday morning, we spent some time helping our college son get a little more settled-hunted for a room rug and a few more college essentials-and delivered the U-Haul trailer to the drop off location. After a walk and lunch at Cane’s, we said our sad good-byes, driving back the 80 miles to the Burmas to hitch up our red boat to pull to Texas. 

Saturday was a long driving day of anticipation and reflection. Finally, we crossed the Texas border! After about 4 more hours, we arrived at my brother’s home. Many times in the past we had been at his house for vacation. It was hard to imagine that now when we arrived we were actually staying in Texas! We were lovingly greeted by my brother and his wife, my niece, her husband and 2 sweet kids. And some of us might have even kissed the ground!

“I remember You upon my bed, and meditate on You in the watches of the night; for You have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.” Psalm 63:6-8

Now a year later, we are mostly settled into our own home. Our year has been filled with many blessings of extended family and friends, laughter, Concordia High School, fulfilling work, and so much more. I sing for joy in thanksgiving to God as His right hand upholds me. I remember His help.

I Just Want to Go Home

"I just want to go home!" cried not only the Murdy family, but also the children of Israel, hurricane victims, refugees, and maybe you?!

Why DID the children of Israel of the Old Testament want to go back to slavery? I always wondered. Suddenly I understood! They just wanted to go HOME, back to familiar territory. As I house hunt and try to adjust to life in a new city, struggling to deal with my own feelings about home, I think about those children of Israel, who left their homes. What did God have for them? “And the Lord went before them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead them along the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, that they might travel by day and by night. The pillar of cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night did not depart before the people.” (Exodus 13:21-22) God does not depart from us either. In incredible ways, God has also been and continues guiding my family, by open doors (and closed ones, too), by words of trusted Christian family and friends, by our Bible readings and devotions, by messages from sermons and songs. God has brought us to this new place and we trust that He has a new home for us.

To the children of Israel and throughout the Bible, God reminds His people not to worry or be afraid. “It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you: He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:8) Almost every day I need to read this verse. What a sense of peace we have, knowing that God IS with us.

One of the many blessings of this new place is the people of Concordia High School. Last week at a Concordia  girls’ Bible study, Allie read this verse: ”For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city to come.” (Hebrews 13:14) Wow. Exactly what I needed - to be reminded that we have no lasting city or home on this temporary earth, but we seek our permanent home in the city to come in heaven.  

What about you? Are you in a place of just wanting to go home? I would love to hear your story. Feel free to email me at ksmurdy@gmail.com.

Where is home? Of course home encompasses so much more than a physical home. My husband, children, and I have been discussing home frequently these past few weeks and months. How easy it is to be connected to our earthly homes.  But God has prepared the best home for us in heaven. Let us all keep a perspective, not becoming too attached to this earthly place, but keeping our eyes on our perfect home awaiting us in the city to come, heaven.