Courage Through The Covid-19 Storm: Apologizing

Tips for THRIVING

Tip #10 Identify your apology language and the apology language of your loved ones. Apologize. 

Listen to this blog post on Anchor https://anchor.fm/karen-sue-murdy/episodes/Courage-Through-the-Covid-19-Storm-Apologizing-ee9vuq
and Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/5l3VsFkWD6NNAlyuLvayDx 

It was the arsenic hour...The time when everyone is a little bit tired and a lot hungry, when the the unplanned interruptions of the day leaves the list of to-dos still lingering. I was not kind. As I was preparing supper, I was questioning whether the grill's gas tank had been left on. Loudly questioning....condemning my son. Very loudly. My son calmly asked, "Mom, if you are going to yell at me, can we please go inside so the neighbors don't have to listen?" I continued my rant in my whispering voice. All of the sudden the words of Paul came to my mind. "Let your reasonableness be known to everyone." Philippians 4:5a Reasonableness? Yikes. I realized, I messed up. I definitely was not letting my reasonableness be known to my son. 

As I thought about this scenario later, I realized I needed to apologize to my son. A few years ago, we came across the idea of apology languages. I wish I had known about apology languages when I was first married and also when I started parenting. It would have been so helpful for repairing relationship wounds.  

Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas lay out the apology languages in their book called "The Five Languages of Apology-How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships." 
The five languages of apology:
1. Expressing regret-"I am sorry."
2. Accepting responsibility-"I was wrong."
3. Making restitution-"What can I do to make it right?"
4. Genuinely repenting-"I'll try not to do that again."
5. Requesting forgiveness-"Will you please forgive me?"

When I read the apology languages, a light bulb went on for me. At that time, my husband and I had been married for over 20 years. But our lack of understanding and differences in apology languages definitely caused some potentially avoidable problems. 

Living in close quarters like many of us have been in Covid-19 craziness, presents many opportunities for apologizing. What is your apology language? What is the apology language of those closest to you? I hope you learn about to identify and use the apology languages of your loved ones.  


Are we getting a bit of summer time reprieve from the coronavirus? Hopefully! But exercise and time in nature are always good ideas. And Covid-19 has not disappeared...If everyone does their part, we can help get the economy open and keep it open. 

Covid-19 Challenge: Set a timer for 60 minutes and when it rings, gather everyone in your household to take a one minute walk outside and around a tree or two, each person sharing something for which s/he is thankful.  REPEAT. 

(If you are alone, do the same, but text someone what you are thankful for when you come back inside.)

Wash your hands. Try to stay 6 feet apart from those not living in your household. Gather outside instead of inside if you can.  Wear a mask and do NOT touch your face when you are out of your home (like going to the grocery store). Although this has some controversy, for now I am going to wear a mask when I am inside public places because I believe there is evidence to support this helps keep each person's germs away from others to help prevent the spread of disease which in turn will help keep our economy open. 

Please "follow me" so you will be notified of when the next blog post is available. 

UP NEXT TIME: Time Capsule

"Courage Through the Covid-19 Storm": Exercise

Tips for THRIVING

Tip #6 Stay Active
Listen to this blog post here on Anchor  https://anchor.fm/karen-sue-murdy/episodes/Courage-Through-the-Covid-19-Storm-Exercise-ecq0ea 
or here on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/4TEmdQWT1WJZwufFQODoYn

What would Mom and Dad do in Covid-19? They would walk, just like they always did, rain or shine. Sadly, they have both been gone for far too many years now. Long before exercise was even a thing, for as long as I can recall, probably back into the 1960's, they exercised. Some of my earliest favorite memories are of walking to the park.  When my sisters were on the high school track team, the entire family would walk to the track, so my sisters could practice.  I would ride my red and white tricycle around the track as fast as my little legs would pedal. Such happy memories. Even when Mom was on her death bed with cancer, she insisted we take her out for a walk! Sometimes that included two or three of us basically carrying her for a short walk down the driveway; but it made her so happy.
If I could ask my parents why they exercised, here is what I think they would say:
1. Mental reasons: Exercise made them feel happy, good and lowered stress levels.
2. Physical reasons: Exercise made them stronger. (When raising six kids, it's good to be strong.) Exercise made them healthier. Mom always had high cholesterol and my parents had family histories of heart disease and high blood pressure.
They loved chocolate and ice cream. If you know my own love for chocolate, no surprise there. Exercise allowed them to burn extra calories to make up for some of those sweets.
3. Relationship reasons: Exercise was a time for my mom and dad to laugh, to recall fun memories, and to dream together. Exercise was a time to solve scheduling issues and resolve problems.
4. Family reasons: Exercise was an inexpensive and positive way to enjoy family time together.
5. Social reasons: Exercise was a time to interact with people in the community.
What are YOUR reasons (benefits) for exercising? Make a list and post it on your refrigerator.

My parents had six children. We all exercise. This picture was taken a few months ago at a family wedding gathering when several of my siblings, in-laws, and kids were out walking:

My husband and I have been in a great exercise routine for almost a year now.  Prior to that we had been in an exercise routine for many years. But with moving, our exercise plan was disrupted, which often happens with change. Throughout our moving process we were always good with walking, the aerobic part of our exercise plan, but we fumbled a bit with strength training. Eventually I found an exercise facility close to our home, with the equipment and hours we wanted. And we got back on track. Now with Covid-19, like so many other places, our exercise facility is closed. For a few weeks we fumbled again, but after some adjustments to get our strength training set up at home, we are back on track. We borrowed some weights from a neighbor who was not using them. We got our sturdy foot stool out to be our step up platform and so on. (And we have added wearing our masks when we walk outside.) My daughter-in-law, with her exercise facility closed now too, has switched to using online videos for her strength training. 
Lack of time is usually the number one barrier for people. Many people are now working from home sans commute; can you convert your commute time to exercise?
What are YOUR barriers to exercise and how can you overcome them?

Like anything else, scheduling an activity on the calendar, helps make it a priority. When do YOU plan to exercise? Look at your calendar at the beginning of the week and mark down your exercise times for each day.


Even though it is important to physical distance right down, please encourage those in your circles of contact, through phone calls and social media, to exercise. My doctor husband is noticing an increase in health issues due to inactivity such as blood clots. Especially for those who are elderly and at high risk, getting some activity every day is very important for good physical and mental health.  

On my blog, I have other exercise posts available for you to read. Here are a few to check out. https://karensuemurdy.blogspot.com/2016/09/exercise-on-challenge.html  
https://karensuemurdy.blogspot.com/2016/12/don-your-exercise-shoes.html 
https://karensuemurdy.blogspot.com/2014/03/from-new-years-resolutions-to-march.html

American College of Sports Medicine has an excellent resource page for staying physically active during the Covid-19 pandemic (including free at home workout videos). I encourage to take a look. https://www.acsm.org/read-research/newsroom/news-releases/news-detail/2020/03/16/staying-physically-active-during-covid-19-pandemic


Now more than ever, as people are working from home, children are out of school, this is a perfect time to start a healthy family tradition.
What legacy are you leaving behind for your loved ones? 
What are your benefits for exercise?
What are your barriers for exercise?
What is your plan for exercise?

Covid-19 Challenge: Set a timer for 60 minutes and when it rings, gather everyone in your household to take a one minute walk outside and around a tree or two, each person sharing something for which s/he is thankful now. REPEAT. 

(If you are alone, do the same, but text someone what you are thankful for when you come back inside.)

Wash your hands. Wear a mask and do NOT touch your face-especially when you are out of your home (like going to the grocery store). Try to stay 6 feet apart from those not living in your household. 

Please "follow me" so you will be notified of when the next blog post is available. 
UP NEXT TIME: Expectations