Tip #10 Identify your apology language and the apology language of your loved ones. Apologize.
Listen to this blog post on Anchor https://anchor.fm/karen-sue-murdy/episodes/Courage-Through-the-Covid-19-Storm-Apologizing-ee9vuq
and Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/5l3VsFkWD6NNAlyuLvayDx
It was the arsenic hour...The time when everyone is a little bit tired and a lot hungry, when the the unplanned interruptions of the day leaves the list of to-dos still lingering. I was not kind. As I was preparing supper, I was questioning whether the grill's gas tank had been left on. Loudly questioning....condemning my son. Very loudly. My son calmly asked, "Mom, if you are going to yell at me, can we please go inside so the neighbors don't have to listen?" I continued my rant in my whispering voice. All of the sudden the words of Paul came to my mind. "Let your reasonableness be known to everyone." Philippians 4:5a Reasonableness? Yikes. I realized, I messed up. I definitely was not letting my reasonableness be known to my son.
As I thought about this scenario later, I realized I needed to apologize to my son. A few years ago, we came across the idea of apology languages. I wish I had known about apology languages when I was first married and also when I started parenting. It would have been so helpful for repairing relationship wounds.
Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas lay out the apology languages in their book called "The Five Languages of Apology-How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships." The five languages of apology:
1. Expressing regret-"I am sorry."
2. Accepting responsibility-"I was wrong."
3. Making restitution-"What can I do to make it right?"
4. Genuinely repenting-"I'll try not to do that again."
5. Requesting forgiveness-"Will you please forgive me?"
When I read the apology languages, a light bulb went on for me. At that time, my husband and I had been married for over 20 years. But our lack of understanding and differences in apology languages definitely caused some potentially avoidable problems.
Living in close quarters like many of us have been in Covid-19 craziness, presents many opportunities for apologizing. What is your apology language? What is the apology language of those closest to you? I hope you learn about to identify and use the apology languages of your loved ones.
Are we getting a bit of summer time reprieve from the coronavirus? Hopefully! But exercise and time in nature are always good ideas. And Covid-19 has not disappeared...If everyone does their part, we can help get the economy open and keep it open.
Covid-19 Challenge: Set a timer for 60 minutes and when it rings, gather everyone in your household to take a one minute walk outside and around a tree or two, each person sharing something for which s/he is thankful. REPEAT.
(If you are alone, do the same, but text someone what you are thankful for when you come back inside.)
Wash your hands. Try to stay 6 feet apart from those not living in your household. Gather outside instead of inside if you can. Wear a mask and do NOT touch your face when you are out of your home (like going to the grocery store). Although this has some controversy, for now I am going to wear a mask when I am inside public places because I believe there is evidence to support this helps keep each person's germs away from others to help prevent the spread of disease which in turn will help keep our economy open. Please "follow me" so you will be notified of when the next blog post is available.
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